Love Lost
by Disuse
Summary: SPOILERS One shot One sided Sheloyd, Colloyd, One sided Shelos. On the night of many discoveries, Sheena wants to tell the one she loves how she feels....But her best friend got there first. Please R&R! Revised version.


Well, this is just a small one shot that I was thinking of doing...Some Colloyd, one sided Sheloyd and one sided Shelos. nods Oh yeah, and it takes place on the Flanoir night. Mmmm...And I have grown fonder of Colloyd against Sheloyd...It's just because since there are so many Sheloyd's out there...(and only a few well written ones, no offense,) Sheloyd has gotten a bit boring. By the way, this is the revised version, on another computer, with word. I only have notepad, so the borders and italics got cut off.

A girl ran down the hallway, her warm brown eyes darting back and forth and her face flushed, as if embarassed. Her ribbons flowed freely from her light purple robe and encased her legs slightly as she slowed down and slid down against the wall, breathing heavily. She closed her sparkling eyes, wondering if she was doing the right thing, and stroked a card that she held in her pocket. It was beautiful, and had the prettiest design on it, and on the front, admist the design said, _remember, you're always loved,Sheena..._

That was from her adopted grandfather, and on the back it had a picture of Corinne, the perky three tailed summon spirit.

"Oh Grandpa..." The girl, who was of course the gentle summoner, Sheena Fujibiyashi, whispered mournfully, stroking the card, "Am I doing the right thing?"

She shook herself mentally, putting her hands on her sweaty brow, her hands visibly shaking, _Of course I am! I've given him so many hints, so many...I didn't love him from first sight, people never do. But...The kind glances he gave me, even when he knew I was trying to destroy his world...The trust he put in me for my first pact, he showed so much kindness to me. We belong together! Don't we...?_ she thought ferociously to herself.

She groaned while bumping her head on the wall, letting a few strands of hair astray...She usually looked beautiful, but tonight of all nights, she was a mess. She finally got up and went to Lloyd's door. Just...Seeing his face brought back a flood of kindness he showed to her.

_Please, Goddess..._ She found herself thinking desolately...But there wasn't any Goddess. Taking a deep breath, she hesitantly knocked on Lloyd's door

"Lloyd...?" Her thickly accented voice trembled as she said it. Her voice sounded so...Strange tonight. Thick with tears that weren't yet shed...

"Lloyd?" She made her voice a bit louder, Lloyd usually called or answered the door right away and with a smile. She heard...Murmurs. Small, blissful murmurs...But she couldn't quite catch them. She pushed her ear towards the door, her eyes already shining with her unshed tears.

A boy, clad in all red paced around the room. His unmanageable hair waggled around uncontrollably and with a smile, he remembered the golden haired angel, and how that always made her giggle uncontrollably. He loved her laugh, and tried to make her laugh almost every day. Just remembering her made him smile...And his smile fled his lips as soon as he remembered that one day...She couldn't laugh any more. He ran his hand through his hair...This night felt...Special. So many thoughts were running through his head, he knew that he should think seriously about what happened, all in one night...But his thoughts always fled back to her.

Her hair flowed down her back in a beautiful wave of gold, her smile could melt anyone's heart. Her stubborn, sparkling eyes haunted his dreams...But he couldn't say that they "haunted" him...She was his angel, always there. And that meant the most. Her soft giggle ran through his ears, and the memory of her kept the nightmares away. She accepted him, the fiery outcast and his best friend, the spunky mage. Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door, a small, shy knock. Lloyd rushed to the door and opened it, bumping into…..  
Her. It was her. Colette's, small, kind voice rang happily through the air. Out of all people...Why her? She was the tentative summoner's best friend...With her love. Maybe...Maybe she was just there to chat! Sheena thought shakily, but she knew...She knew before she came. But still, she dreamed, she hoped...And she kept flying up and up out of her hole of misery at Mizuho...Only to fall back into misery, brought by her best friend...

No...Not by her best friend. By her. Sheena shook her head, more strands of hair falling and took a deep breath and put her ear back by the door...In a way, she didn't want to, but she knew...She just had to know.

In her room, a girl with crystal blue eyes and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts frowned...For once. She looked up at the sky, her mouth whispering silent prayers and her hands clasped in front of her chest. Noone knew...But when she clasped her hands, it wasn't just praying. It was...Covering her weak heart. The one that managed to fall in love so easily. With her best friend, no less! Her heart melted as she thought of her goofy friend, the one who always was able to make her smile, even when she lost her voice.When she got back to normal, she cried, cried for a long time. Tears of thankfullness, pity, joy...Tears for happiness for finding the one...and being able to keep the one she loved, the twin swordsman with the warm eyes. Clad in red, his favorite color...She loved him for a long time, she knew.

Everyone else was so polite to her, afraid of her! they whispered in clumps, pointing at her, the "Chosen". Even though noone knew, and she acted like the perfect, ideal chosen, tried so hard.,...She ABBHORED that title. But now, she loved it. Because it let her meet him...

Lloyd. She said that she loved lots of things...She said, as her duty told her to,

"I love the Goddess Martel with all my heart, and will believe in Her and Her will..." But...SHe hadn't meant it. In her mind,...She was rather resentful of Martel for laying this great duty and burden, this curse, this blessing unto HER of all people..

She knew that there was only one she truly, _truly_ loved. She said that she loved her grandmother...But not really. Every day, she would have to spend her time learning the language of the angels, and she was horrible at it...SHe tried, tried so hard, right until she could finally read it. But..Her grandmother was never happy. She would wring her hand and seem to wonder, _Why, of all the priests, did I have to take care of this clumsy Chosen_

She tried to be patient, though...But...She had to BEG her to go to school.

_So I can learn..._ Colette had said at the time, but in her mind, she was saying, _So I can be loved..._

And once she got there...She tripped. And everyone stared at her, wide eyed, saying welcome and being stiff and polite! Only one boy laughed and started talking about how funny it was that she fell. And then he paused to ask if she was all right. AT first, she was scared of this boy, and when Phaidra saw her with him...It was the first time she disobeyed her. She demanded that she, the holy vessel stayed away from the dirty dwarf child with the sparkling eyes and the despicable elf with his perky small smile. But she didn't..._After all..._ she figured, _I have to love everything, like Martel! And if Martel loves everything...She must love dwarves and elves too!_

Now, thinking about this fiery boy, as connected and solid to the ground as she was to the sky...She was certain. She had to tell Lloyd how she felt...And if he rejected her...She looked worriedly at the ground with her wide, heavenly blue eyes. Lloyd. She was SCARED of him at first, he was so...So...Wild. Nodding, as the blue-eyed angel made up her mind, she ran down the hallway, her head bobbing pleasantly. She tripped, characteristically of her. Why did she trip? Was there some reason why she did that too? Nope. She was just clumsy! She stuck her tongue out and gave a little grin, silently reprimanding herself for being the klutz she was. She hesitated before knocking.

What if.  
What if.  
But for once in her life, she was going to take charge. And gave a knock on Lloyd's door. And for some reason...She thought that she heard footsteps.

Her. The footsteps came from the teary eyed summoner, staring blankly off in the distance...Even if the voice wasn't talking to HER...It brung joy singing through her heart to hear Lloyd's kind voice, talking...And his voice stabbed at her heart, for she knew, she knew NOW, that he could never be hers...Never. She heard Colette's soft voice and...

"Ugh!" She cried aloud, in a teary voice that didn't seem like her own. She punched the wall, tearing her knuckles, but she didn't care...

"What was that?" Came a small angelic murmur..Colette.

"Never mind...It was probably just a bird or somethin'..." Lloyd's voice spoke through and Sheena just collapsed on the ground, unable to listen anymore..But she had to, she HAD to..She wished she WERE a bird. People always called her that.

_Ah, Sheena, my little sparrow_ Her grandfather always used to tease her, with sparkling eyes and a never ending smile. He called her that because of the way she'd dart and flit around.

_Oh, Sheens, sometimes you seem all pretty an' nice an' stuff...Like..A parrot! But then you turn into an old crow..._ Kuchinawa would say in their youth while they played. Oh, she had been compared to many things...

"L...Lloyd..." Came a small whimper.

"Yeah?" Lloyd's voice asked with a hint of a smile.

"I...I...I don't know how to say this...But..I kinda...I kinda..I..Love you Lloyd..." It came with a hint of tears and Sheena could visualize the delicate angel smiling and crying at the same time. "I...I'm sorry.." She added as an afterthought.

_Please Lloyd...Don't say you feel the same...Don't say it..._Sheena had thought uselessly. She knew it was a selfish wish, but she couldn't help it..

"Shhh..." The summoner with tears in the corners of her eyes heard muffled sobs and whispered consolences, "Shh...It's okay Colette...Don't cry..." A small sigh emitted from Sheena, who was lying limply on the floor, looking half dead. All of those kind words were just that. No hidden messages...She should've known with such an honest boy like Lloyd..But now she wasn't sure that boy was the right term. More like a man.

"C...Colette...I feel the same way..." Sheena couldn't help herself from crying aloud, a muffled cry. Something between a heartbrokened warble of a nightingale and the cries of the newborn sparrow, crying for its mother long gone.

A small kiss was heard and a muffled, gruff "sorry" came from the voice of Lloyd this time. She had heard a rather sloppy kiss on Lloyd's part. Sheena smiled through her tears, hearing the angelic Chosen say with a hint of laughter,

"Don't say sorry..." SHeena knew she would say that and mouthed the words along with Colette. She heard another kiss and at the same time the heartbroken ninja's lips reached out, kissing her dreams goodbye. Her dream...In the shape of Lloyd seemed to take wings and fly away. Sheena reached out to the dream that only she could see, as if wanting it to come back...But it was gone. There was only one she had loved...She had thought that Lloyd knew how she felt, never knowing his true family...Til now. She wanted him so much...She had heard of heartbreak..But..She didn't know it would be like this. Her heart literally hurt, her stomach twanging with the hurt. She knew she should've been happy for Colette; the had spent so much time together, laughing, playing...But..She couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't cry, she just staggered down the hallways, a moan emitting from her throat. She saw a broken mirror on the floor, shattered like her heart. She remembered deciding what to say, seeming like such a long time ago..She did her hair perfectly, which was now a mess, she tried to put on make up which was now smudged...She wanted to look pretty. She remembered breaking the mirror, and thinking that that was a bad omen.

_Or... _she had thought, slightly amused, _maybe I was so ugly that it broke...Ha..._

She crunched the glass underneath her thin slipper and felt it pierce her skin and saw her beautiful white slipper turn blood red...But she didn't feel anything and laughed in spite of the pain and torment going on in her heart at the fuss that Lloyd had made when she got hurt. She was blind then, he made a fuss over everyone...Not just her. She saw with wide eyes a picture that she never expected to see. It was the redheaded chosen, not going after anyone else. But staring listlessly, heartbrokenedly at her door, as she had done to Lloyd's. He turned around, his whole face lighting up at seeing Sheena, but his face falling as he saw what a sad mess she was. She said nothing, just catapulted herself into his arms and cried and cried into his shoulder. He stroked her hair and shushed her...And for once...That idiot chosen knew when to keep his mouth shut.

So...I did this short little ficlet in...what, 45 minutes? I listened to music the whole time through! P I hope that y'all like it! Please, R&R! What do you all think?


End file.
